This will come to no surprise that I constantly have mishaps. I am a routine oriented person. It is necessary for me to remember simple tasks. All it takes is for one thing to be out of my routine and things go downhill quickly. The bigger the mishap, the more likely I will not be able to move past it. Yesterday was no different.
We have two bug-eyed Boston terriers. They are brothers. They are probably 3 or 4, we have had them both since they were puppies. Opie was a very sick puppy. He had seizures as a puppy. Both are healthy now; however, Opie has never outgrown his puppy stage. We had to put a fence around our garden because Opie would go in there and destroy whatever he possibly could. He is much smarter than we are as he still managed to get into the garden; he would even help Cooper get in the garden. Opie could get back out; however, Cooper could never figure it out. Opie would be the one tearing things up; however, it appeared that it was Cooper.
We put up a run for them because they are very destructive little fellas. I have no idea how they managed it, but they tore the run down. It had a post that was concreted into the ground. The other end was attached to a tree. Those two little suckers literally ripped the post that was concreted into the ground out of the ground. They had plenty of room to run, it just prevented them from entering the garden. This only worked when Houdini Opie did not escape his harness and then helping Cooper escape his harness.
This past spring, sb got 24 chicks. Keep in mind that thinking things through and making good choices are not my strengths. We had no idea what we were doing. Most people have chicken coops; we have a chicken camper. Yes, it is quite the sight. It is made out of an old camper that slid into the bed of a pick-up truck. It has been mounted on an axle so that it can be moved. It has a good-sized run that has been made even bigger, no tape measure was used, nothing but recycled materials, held together with zip ties and wire. It is surprisingly sturdy, however not so pleasing to the eye. Sb, nor the chickens care, it’s fine.
Friday, sb had finished her lunch. Per routine, I let the destructive little suckers outside to run. Get sb cleaned up, changed, floor swept and mopped. I go to let the boys in, I get ready to open the door and I do not see 4 little bug eyes looking at me, odd. I open the door, I hear a bunch of commotion in the far corner of the yard. My eyes follow the sound. All I see are what appears like a million chickens flapping and flying around the yard as if they are being chases. Oh, my goodness Cooper is chasing them. I cannot see Opie. Cooper is more of a da doop da doop type of dog, Opie is higher strung and always up to no good. With that being said, I have never seen Cooper move so fast. I have a lot of time, energy, blood, sweat and tears, more tears than anything in these dang chickens. Things no longer come easy for me, such as problem solving. Too many whacks on the head. I become very frazzled and overwhelmed in situations that require immediate problem solving. I am stunned, much like a deer in the headlights, most likely with my mouth hung wide open. The boys have training collars, more so for Opie than Cooper. I cannot remember what the remote for this looks like. I recognize that I need to move quickly, however, that is not part of the plan. I locate the remote. Chickens are still going everywhere; all I can focus on is the feathers all over the yard and I still cannot locate Opie. I repeatedly am yelling at the dogs. I for sure do not want Sb to witness this mess. I am so worried that there are chickens slaughtered all over the back yard, I do not want to see that and at absolutely no cost will I let Sb see it. Cooper is not at all listening, most likely due to him seeing a gourmet meal, buffet style. I am sorting out what the remote buttons do. I find the beeper button. I hit it several times, nothing, Cooper is still running after the hens trying to corner them. Still not the first sighting of Opie, I pictured him already feasting at the gourmet buffet. I hit the vibration button, still, nothing, as if it was not even working. Last option, which is not my favorite option, and it takes me a few to process, whether or not to use the last option. All of those feathers flying around with the hens squawking in fear, I hit the ride the lightening button. Cooper stops dead in his tracks, immediately running towards me. Still not a peep from Opie. I scoop up Cooper who is licking my face rapidly, as if to say, I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry. Now I am not sure how the next few moments even happened. I still cannot see nor hear Opie; he is much harder headed than Cooper. I am still yelling for him with no response. It is not like I can go wander around looking for him. I do not want Sb seeing slaughtered chickens that are her friends, laying all over the yard. Somehow, my right hand was up under Coopers collar. I am not aware of this at all; all I can focus on is saving the chickens. I hit the ride the lightening button again. Yes, you guessed it I zapped myself. It is not a painful zap, it is more of a scared the heck out of me zap; I am already frantic over the circus taking place in the back yard. I am the ringleader and have no control over the show that is unfolding. I for sure peed my pants. Just when I think a situation cannot get worse, the good Lord reminds me, oh, indeed it can. Finally, here comes Opie, chicken feathers of every color hanging out of his mouth, panting as if he had been to battle. There I am, still holding cooper who is incessantly washing my face apologizing for his bad behavior, Opie standing by the door wanting in as he is worn out, chickens still running everywhere, and I have peed my pants. I have no idea what to do, as if I am frozen in time, trying to process my next move. It is not going well, because my next move needs to be changing my pants. All the while, Sb has been standing at the glass door, laughing and chatting up a storm as she can see the chickens flying in the air and me frantically and foolishly pacing not knowing what to do. I get the feathers off of Opie, open the glass door a little more to let Opie in and so I can set Cooper inside. Sb is so excited to play with her boys. I am still standing on the deck, trying to figure out what to do next. I need to change my clothes; I also need to figure out what to do with the chickens. The fence in the back yard is not tall enough to keep them contained. I have no idea how this even happened. The chicken camper and chicken run is hillbilly version of Fort Knox. It does not at all look pretty, however very functional. The chicken camper door is standing wide open. I have no idea how that happened. I call Karen, I cannot solve problems at the moment, maybe she can help me. She had not been gone for 20 minutes when this all unfolded. I am standing there still rather stunned, feathers all over the back yard, chickens flapping and squawking, all while I still am wearing my pee pants. Karen is not making the situation better for me, I am feeling more overwhelmed as she is asking me a million questions. If I had known any answers, I would not have felt the need to call her. I have to hang up on her so I can take a moment to recenter myself. Ok, I have to change my clothes, one task at a time. I cannot allow myself to entertain anything other than the task at hand. I quickly clean up and change clothes. Ok, put the dogs away, they have caused enough chaos for right now. Dogs, put away. Put shoes and jacket on Sb, done. Now to deal with the circus of chickens flying all over the place, everywhere but where they should be. Close the door to the chicken camper, done. Did I mention that I am afraid of the chickens? I am not a fan of birds of any sort. Pretty to look at from a long distance, that is about it. I am not touching these chickens. How am I going to get them all back in??? One at a time. I open the gate to the chicken run. Sb is not an overabundance of help; she likes to chase the chickens too. She, however, simply wants to catch them, not eat them. I get one coaxed back into the chicken run, locate another, get it headed towards the gate. The first one I coaxed, is walking back out. Shoot, this is not going to work. I cannot coax chickens and operate the gate. Things still are not going well for me. I locate one chicken that is stuck in between the backside of the chicken run fence and the fence that encloses the back yard. Well, at least I know where one of them is. This takes an extreme amount of time. I get all but 6 of them in, I think anyway, I have not been counting how many have gone in, 6 is what I can see. I hear someone pull in the drive. Oh thank you sweet baby Jesus, I do not care if it is the amazon delivery person, at this point, I am willing to drop to my knees and beg for help. Karen had called her brother-in-law and nephew. We will call them Hokie and Pokie. Hokie, the brother-in-law- Pokie, is the nephew. They are both laughing hysterically, as they come in the other gate to the back yard. Hokie is always laughing, very slow to anger, he simply has a lighthearted personality. Pokie, is always super polite to me and very helpful. However, I take every opportunity I can to aggravate them both. They must have smelled blood in the water with my weakness of the disaster in the back yard. They are both full of jokes, I do not care, help has arrived. Pokie said what happened Auntie. I am certain I gave him the glare of death as he is laughing even harder. Hokie and Pokie get the rest of the chickens in the run. Pokie was covered in mud from crawling under the chicken camper to get those pesky 6 chickens to come out. Hokie gets the chicken that was stuck in between the two fences out, all while laughing with Hokie occasionally singing scooby dooby do. All finished, hokie and pokie are going back to doing what ever it was they had been doing, however not before Pokie says Auntie, make sure you get that door closed, followed by laughter.
Lessons: No matter what the situation may be, especially when it feels overwhelming and frustrating, one task at a time, not thinking about the tasks that follow is hard to accomplish. However, it is easier to eat an apple one bite at a time versus shoving the entire apple in your mouth at once.
Every action is a reaction, that reaction may come when you are already in a weak moment. I sure was asking myself why I like to aggravate Hokie and Pokie so much, pay back will eventually come back around to you.
No chickens were harmed, except for the loss of a few feathers.
Toodle-loo
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