More Jalapeno

More Jalapeno

I provided Jalapeno with a vehicle to drive. It was old, would pass anything but a gas station, however it was safe. Jalapeno did not care; I gave her gas money. Literally, I wanted her to focus on her education and being the best mom to tooter, not having the extra pressure of figuring out things during this period of her life. Whether I was right or wrong in that decision, that is how I handled it, neither Jalapeno nor tooter came with a manual.

One time I was working on the boo boo bus and Jalapeno called me, she had a flat at the schoolhouse. Now Jalapeno knew how to change a tire, I think maybe she was missing something or could not get the jack to work. It was something. My normal shift partner and I let’s call her wally, we went to the schoolhouse, yes in the boo boo bus. No one was harmed or neglected while we helped Jalapeno. Jalapeno was so embarrassed, wally turned the wig wag lights on and kept hitting the loud buzzer on the siren, drawing all the attention.

Corinna was the name of the vehicle I provided Jalapeno with. Shooo wee, I for the life of me could not remember the name. Anyway, Corinna broke down or something, I cannot remember exactly what had happened. I got ahold of my dad, he had a vast selection of vehicles to choose from, however he did the choosing. Just to give you an idea of the quality of these vehicles, I was young and one time the motor blew in my car and it was getting rebuilt. He sold me a car that looked decent, it however had according to him a “slight” gas leak. Let me tell you, you could see the gas pouring out from under it as you drove down the road. I sure would not have wanted to see a true gas leak if that was “slight”. Jalapeno needed to go to town for something. I don’t remember if it was raining or snowing or both. Jalapeno called me and told me she wrecked grandpa’s car. I asked if her and tooter are ok, thankfully they were. She doesn’t think grandpa’s car is. She was not far from the house. I go rushing down there. Jalapeno had taken out some of a farmer’s fence and maybe a corner post. She had traveled some distance in the air. In a true teenager fashion, she was not going “that” fast. Well, now is not the time to discuss proper driving techniques. I’ve seen both jalapeno and tooter with my own two eyes and yes, they are fine. Tooter had no idea anything had happened, he was snug, safe and sound in his car seat. Now I must make the dreaded call to my dad. Jalapeno was shaken up enough. I started off with they are fine. I told him, the car not so much; it was, the long sigh followed by an eternity of pause. Once again in true fashion, he asked me what I was going to do about it. I was sure glad that we were having this conversation through the phone, he acted as if I had crashed his Bentley. I can promise it was not actually a Bentley. I do not remember what it was. Well, I sapose (that was on purpose just for jalapeno), I better find out who’s field it is so they can assess the damage. Then, I can drag it up out of the field and get my trailer, put it on the trailer and take it the three miles home. Greeted with the long sigh again, followed by complete silence. This was not a productive conversation. We had a bad connection, possibly on purpose, on my end. Jalapeno had called her mom and dad during all of this; they were headed to where we were. The police had shown up, went through the usual questions. Then asked if we needed him to call a wrecker. Ummmmm no. He asked if we had already called one, Ummmmm no. Then he informed us we could not drive it like that, no kidding captain obvious. Heck no I did not say that out loud, I am sure I was thinking it though. I told him my brilliant plan; no, you cannot do that. I asked why? What is the difference if it is on my trailer or a wrecker. He said we could not block the road that long. We were literally on a back road that is mostly traveled by old order Mennonite, not a dag gum interstate. Wrecker it was, I am not sure what that wrecker bill cost, I do however remember that I about fell over from the cost to go three miles. My dad had called me back by this time, he was more talkative this time, however, I sure was not wanting to hear what he was saying like I was hard of hearing. He did not even ask to talk to Jalapeno, that is the moment that I realized I may as well have been the one to turn his car into an airplane. Mind you, this is the same man that backed my little sports car into a pole, a stationary pole. Not something that had just been put there but had been there for years. The same man that when that happened, he started laughing and said ooops. That was my car, not one he had bought me. So, in my book, I would have thought we were even. Nope, not even close. We were able to get the immediate problem taken care of. I swear for the next several days, my phone would ring, and my dad would go on a tangent about that dang car. Up until my dad got sick, he would randomly tell me how “We” need to get that car fixed that “you guys” tore up. To my knowledge he never said a sideways word to Jalapeno about launching his car off of the road into that poor farmer’s fence. Just me.

Jalapeno’s second story of the day.

Years ago, we use to mow, we had two properties that were over ten acres together to mow. I cannot remember exact acreage; it was a lot. We used 2 scag zero turns. I acquired a John Deere riding mower. I had Jalapeno running it this particular day. I was off mowing in a different area, I would see Jalapeno going up over a hill occasionally, so I knew she was fine, I however could not see the grass she was supposed to be mowing. I finish and head over by where she is mowing, on the way there, I spot a mower blade laying in the grass. I picked it up and know exactly where it had come from. Jalapeno is living her best life, listening to music off in la la land. It takes me a minute to get her stopped. I said, “are you missing something?” She was confused and started looking around, realizing that something was not

her missing mower blade up. Complete shock on her face, asking me where that came from. I said, well, since you’re leaving a strip of grass down the middle, I am going to just guess it is yours. I was by no means angry or even upset with Jalapeno. Jalapeno told me she thought something looked funny. Yes, indeed it does look funny.

Lesson of the day, maybe do not drive Mach Jesus (when you are going fast enough to launch a vehicle off of the roadway by a lot, not just an oops went in the ditch) when it is either raining, snowing, possibly both. For all I remember it could have been a sunshiny day not a cloud in sight. I am going to continue to think it was adverse weather conditions. Lesson number 2, never let Jalapeno drive your stuff, just kidding, I still let her drive my stuff. Accidents happen, not on purpose, hence the name accident. No need to get bent out of shape, material things can be replaced. Lesson number 3, it’s ok to look back to where you came from once in a while, just to make sure you have not lost any important part. Maybe, if something looks “funny” stop and check it out, something “funny” may in fact be happening. Or just keep riding around living your best life, not a care in the world. Jalapeno kept me on my toes, never doing the things I expected and prepared myself for her to do.