CB

CB

There are two things that most little girls dream of, getting married and becoming a mother. The key word in that sentence is MOST. I am not sure what my dreams consisted of; however, I can assure you that neither one of the two listed were part of my dreams.

I met CB in my very late teens, early twenties. We worked together. He was always super happy, I never seen him without a smile on his face. Where we worked closed. We were acquaintances, not a let’s hang out outside of work type of acquaintance, more of a hey how is it going, in passing.

Several years later, our paths crossed again.  He was exactly the same, always smiling and found the good in every situation. I was struggling with myself. I so badly wanted a “normal” life. I had always hated who I was. CB and I grew our friendship. CB eventually asked me to marry him. Little did I know he had already asked my dad, dad and CB had already set a date. It was something ridiculous like six weeks to prepare. I have a lot of CB stories. We did not live together before we were married. I was working full-time and going to college. I wanted to back out, however my desire to be normal outweighed the desire to back out.

We got married, however, not without incidents, very typical of my life. We had a huge turnout, looking back, I am pretty sure so many people came to witness me wearing a dress. Trust me, I was just as shocked. What was even more shocking was I managed to walk up two sets of stairs with the help of Hank. When Hank and I made it up the first step, there was a larger woman standing at the top of stairs trying to get a photo. Hank passed me off to my father at the top of the stairs. I was very uncomfortable for a multitude of reasons. My dress was awkward and heavy, I had not taken very many steps, my feet were killing me from the high heels, what appeared to be a million people staring at me, a woman snapping her camera as fast as she could right in front of me blinding me with her flash. The music changed and it was time to walk down the aisle. The aisle was rather narrow. The lady taking the rapid-fire pictures somehow fell over onto the floor. I am not sure if dad was not paying attention or what the deal was, but he managed to get around her. I assessed the situation very quickly and realized I was not making it around her as somehow, she had now managed to take up the entire aisle. I for sure was not going to attempt to step over her. I would have spiked her with a heel for one and for two, we would have both been on the floor. I had not attempted to jump hurdles while practicing walking in those shoes. My dad is steady pulling on me only facing forward, I am trying to quietly get his attention to stop. He must have realized I was not budging, which made him unable to walk forward. He turns around and sees the large woman on the ground. He found it funny, I did not. The music is still playing; people are still staring. Truthfully, I am certain the fact that I was in a dress was very distracting. Only myself and my dad are aware that this lady had biffed it and was blocking the aisle. Neither one of us were in any shape to help the poor woman up. I am barley able to hold my own weight up on those shoes, my dress is so ungodly uncomfortable and heavy. Had I tried to turn any direction other than the direction I was already pointed, I was going to be in a tangled mess with very long part that drags across the floor (I cannot remember what it is called). That piece of heavy beaded fabric needed its own zip code. I literally had to stand like a statue due to this debacle, my dad Is chuckling, still not an ounce of help to remedy this mess. Music is still playing. I just want to say had I been a bystander, I would have looked a little into why has the music been playing so long but no one is coming up the aisle. That is just me. Instead, I have to yell, mmmhmmm, yell, to stop the music and to get help to get this poor woman up. Her knee had given out; they were unable to get her up. The woman suggested for them to help her scoot to the stairs so that she was out of the way. I hope everyone is visualizing this mess. Dad is still laughing, I can assure you that I was not laughing. I do know it was hotter than all get out that day. I do not know if the church did not have air conditioning or if it was not effective due to the amount of people jammed in the church. It truly felt as if it was a circus and I was the ringleader. They get the lady to the stairs, and everyone got back to their seats and standing areas. The music started playing again. I was already over the entire situation, and we had not made it down the aisle. I do not remember anything past that moment.

I had carried three red roses with my flowers that sat in the empty chair reserved for my mom. I picked them up as we walked back down the aisle. CB and I walked them across the road and down the dirt lane to my mom’s grave. When we exited the church, the sun was shining. By the time we made it to where my mom is buried, a small black cloud was over top of us and opened up. This went from bad to worse. CB is trying to help me gather the heavy long dress so we could make it back to the church where it was dry. Remember the heels? Every step I took, the heel portion would sink into the now muddy lane. Poor CB could not see where he was going. He had two arm loads of that beaded fabric, depending on me to get us safely back to the church. I was having horrible wardrobe malfunctions so every couple of steps he would slam into me which would force me to take an unprepared step jamming a heel clear up to the base of the shoe into the mud. We thankfully made it back to the church. I think CB used my dress as an umbrella; he was hardly wet as I look like one of those wire-haired dogs soaking wet. Our reception was in a different location. We make it there, I had changed into sneakers, so I was able to move better. I am somewhat relieved as I am thinking nothing else could go wrong. Boy was I wrong. CB brother had some sort of a medical emergency and was laid out on the ground outside. I think this is just fabulous. Heck, the last time I seen the large woman, she was still sitting on the steps at the church, now we have another one down. They called an ambulance for CB’s brother. It was time to cut the cake, everyone was looking for CB, of course no one found him, he had ridden to the hospital with his brother, I totally get it. It may have been better had he told someone vs having all of the guests out wandering around like a pose trying to find him. You could not imagine how ready I was for this entire shit show (literally no other way to describe it) to be over. I am not sure how I got home, it was a dry reception, no alcohol involved. CB showed up a few hours later with a half of a garbage bag of his worldly possessions. That poor man had to put his hygiene products under the cabinet in the bathroom for at least the first month. He was happy as a lark, as he always was, I am in a tailspin because of the way my brain is hardwired. I survived by structure and routine.  How hard would it have been for me to give a little space in the regular cabinet for his few things? Much harder than you would imagine. It had been a very stressful and chaotic day, and Chipper CB had the audacity to ask me if I brought him any chicken from the reception. I do not believe the rest of the evening went well after that.

Obviously, our marriage did not last a lifetime. I think maybe four years. However, I want to add, none of the reasons our marriage failed had anything to do with CB. We did not part on bad terms and we are still very good friends to this day. Come back for more CB stories.

Toodle loo