Day's like these

Day's like these:

We have entered a new phase of life. Trying to potty train. Key word being TRYING. It has been a few weeks ago, SB likes to use her potty ladder to brush her teeth. I have learned that with a toddler, time by yourself is a thing of the past. I was in the shower; SB barged in and picked up her potty ladder. That probably is not the correct name for it. I think nothing of it because I thought she was brushing her teeth, normal thing. I continue on about my business; however, it is not nearly as warm in the bathroom as it had been, she opens the doors, has not yet mastered closing them. I am slathered up with soap; I don’t even want to picture that. I clear the soap from my eyes, I do not see her at the sink, I scan down and see her little shadow on the toilet. I think she is literally just sitting there. I am talking to her, she is talking back, I just cannot understand a word she is saying. I finish up my shower and try to coax her out of the bathroom, that is absolutely not happening. I reach out to grab a towel and get a whiff of unpleasantry. I check out the SB situation a little better, she has her pants, shirt and pull up off. The smell is much worse. I see a brown footprint on her ladder deal. OOOOHHHH NOOOOO. Oh boy, she has it on her little hand, the more I examine, she has it on her arm, even on her belly. I am full on panic mode; SB is a finger sucker and all I could think was please do not plop those in your mouth. I am scrambling, as much as an old, fat lady can scramble. Sb did not plop them in her mouth, she instead started touching me, I am still covered in water as I could not take time to dry off once I spotted the poo on her hand. Now we both have it on us, back in the shower we went. All I could do is laugh, SB had the right idea, she was just a little late. What do you even say to all of that? I repeatedly told her good job baby, you were so close.

She is so close to being ready to do the business on the potty. That is what I keep telling myself. She is a smidge on the stubborn side. She has those training pants; I am super irresponsible and probably do not help matters. She  wants to sit on the potty but not use the potty. She will sit and sit and sit and sit, get up and within a few minutes pee. The look on her face when he realizes that it is not a pull up, then she tries to run from it. She gets to slip and sliding on the floor, trying to get away from the mess she is making. I cannot help but laugh. How can I be upset? I cannot. Her personality is hilarious.

It is not uncommon at mealtime to look over at her and whatever she is supposed to be eating to be stuck to her face, egg noodles, the peanut butter bread side of a pbj, lunch meat. As I am currently typing this, I looked over and she is using bread as an eye patch, sticking it to her forehead, back to the eye patch. Always up to something. This morning, I turned around and she had her cereal bowl that had fruit loops and milk in it, upside down on her head. Maybe it is because I am older and appreciate the simple things in life, I just find it comical.

Karen constantly say’s that she is a mini me. She is not wrong. Last night, SB did not even let Karen get the car door shut, from the back seat is the cutest little yell of “come on” followed by a sigh. Karen whirls around and looks at me, of course I am unsuccessfully trying not to laugh. She said OMG, she acts just like you, I said I do not act like that. I do not sigh. Karen swears that I do, she said I sound just like my father. I of course deny it, then I caught myself doing it. SB is a back seat driver and has no clue what she is talking about. Constantly saying GOOOO GOOO GOOO. She is just a funny child. Karen had her own dr appointments today. I got ahold of Amy’s mom to see if she could take me to mine as they were in different directions and I cannot drive. She was right on time picking me up and shockingly, I was on time being ready. My sunglasses that have reading glasses in them were in the vehicle Karen took. I am easily sidetracked so I was a little off kilter because I had to use regular sunglasses. That was probably the only thing that occupied my mind the entire trip to my appointment. I got into Amy’s mom’s vehicle and there was water droplets on the windowsill and a little on the dash, I wiped it up not thinking a thing of it. We make it to my first appointment, and she drops me right at the door, I am still preoccupied about the fact that I do not have my regular sunglasses. I get out and the cold air hit me, and I thought wow it is super drafty on my behind. I walk toward the door, and it is getting colder back there with each step. I get inside and it is still chilly on my back side.  I do the old hand swipe and oh no, the back of my pants are not just a little wet, they are soaking wet. Do you know how uncomfortable wet underwear are? I have to parade around this doctor’s office for two hours. Maybe it is not as bad as I think it is. The sweetest lady who does not have a malicious bone in her body does the initial check in. Her name will be the lady at the front desk. Let me first tell you, I have on a medium gray color pair of pants. If my back side is as wet as it feels, it is going to be very noticeable. I said lady at the front desk, is my butt as wet as it feels? She was trying not to laugh, laughing would not have hurt my feelings. She said it is a little wet, I said come on lady at the front desk it feels more than a little, I said is it noticeable? She very politely said yes. Don’t worry, they all know I am a little strange. The lady at the front desk and I are on a first name basis; it is totally acceptable. I said I am just going to tell people that I peed my pants. She is still laughing as she tells me I can take a seat and someone will get me checked in. There are three people sitting over there, two older men and a woman. One of the men is called to get checked in right away. He may not have seen my mishap. I am standing away from the two-remaining people. Not because I am embarrassed, I always stand while I am waiting to get checked in. The remaining fella decided he wanted to be friendly. It started of with do you live around here? No.  Then he tells me he ran a business around town. Oh, ok. I am not responding rudely, all I can think about now is I look like I urinated on myself. He then asked me if I was married, if this conversation is not going in a direction I am in the mood for. I said yes sir, I peed my pants.  The lady that is still sitting there busts out laughing. They call me to check me in, of course it is the furthest desk where I have to walk past ALL of the people. I feel like maybe I had drawn some attention to myself when I responded to the older fella about being married. I no longer cared. I go to my first appointment, I typically greet my first appointment with random blurts on a regular basis, when she gets to laughing, she gets to snorting. We always pass a room that has a few employees in it who are typically also laughing from whatever I have blurted to laugh and snort. My first statement to laugh and snort today was hey, I need you to trade me pants, I peed mine and I have another appointment after you. Laugh and snort laughed and snorted all the way to her office. Of course, when I got in her office I told her that I think Amy’s mom may have forgotten her window was down during the downpours last night. I am all over the place with randomness because I do not have my regular sunglasses and my backside is uncomfortably wet. There was a lot of laughing during that appointment. Now I have a 20 minutes wait before my next appointment. I could have gone outside with Amy’s mom, the seat is wet, I am still a little chilly and my pants have not dried at all. Finally, time for my next appointment. There was a lot of laughing going on for that one as well. I go out and get into Amy’s mom’s car and I said Amy’s mom, did you leave your windows down last night? She said I don’t think so. Then I remembered, the passenger side window was down a bit when I got in her vehicle. Then I remembered the water on the windowsill and dash. Amy’s mom felt so bad, I didn’t feel bad, I can find humor in just about everything. The moral of my story is, I hope SB only acquires the best parts of me.  I hope she can always find the humor in things. I hope her glass is never half empty. I will encourage her to put noodles or bologna on her face to make others laugh. Everyone pee’s their pants once in a while. I better end this as SB just climbed up on me and laid her head on my shoulder. These moments will not last long, I am going to laugh and enjoy them for as long as I can! Toodle-loo